Surreal Reality
by Akizuki Sai
Summary: No one knew Eriol was back. They were surprised, but Eriol was most surprised when he learned of the changes over the years of his absence.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** CCS belongs to CLAMP.

This is written as a gift fic in one of the CCS writing communities in livejournal.

* * *

Everything is a blur to him, just flashes of random images along with muffled voices and the faintest scent of antiseptic and tea.

His head is reeling, like the pull of gravity against something so small when it falls from the very top of a tall building, and his lids feel heavy, like steel; and in a struggle to open his eyes, he gropes the sheets, and feels calloused warm hands hold his as if to pacify him.

For a fraction of a second his hand relaxes, and the next thing he knows something sharp pierces through his skin and he loses consciousness.

* * *

The party is at nine, at an indoor garden of a newly opened hotel in the city. It is all a coincidence, nothing the two of them could have planned, nothing he could have predicted. He is there because of a colleague at the university. She, on the other hand, is the hostess' only daughter.

She has no idea he is in town - for the last five years (and they say the world is small) - and is very surprised to see him right in the middle of a sea of strangers. He is just as surprised. They have never been close, though they did share the same circle of friends back in grade school, and then he has moved, and they have completely lost contact of each other. It is one unexpected reunion.

Wine, laughter, and good music fill the gaps of years no contact between them within the span of an hour and a half. The feeling is strange - a mixture of tranquility, fondness, and nostalgia - like a long forgotten childhood memory resurfacing in the midst of an endless pit.

He is not sure if it is the effect of the wine or having not seen her for years, but at that time he thinks she is the most beautiful thing that has ever graced the earth, simply dressed in black and a shade of pink which reminds him of flowers in spring, her hair long and flowing.

_Has she always been so beautiful?_

* * *

She has to leave the party early to prepare for an important meeting the following day, but her driver is nowhere in sight, so he gallantly (and gladly) offers to drive her home (despite her insistence of taking a cab instead).

He is such a charmer, and the night is beautiful, and she agrees in the end; and it is on their way to the parking lot when the first snow falls, and like kids they dance in mirth, laughing.

They say that the first fall of snow is not just any event. It is a magical event.

He thinks it is the beginning of love.

* * *

He is surprised to learn from his colleague that she is engaged to be married to another man next spring. He has thought the platinum ring he has seen in her finger the other night is a figment of his imagination, the effect of the wine which has made him think she is so beautiful (but then again she had always been beautiful in his eyes, with or without the wine).

He is most surprised when he has learned the name of her husband-to-be.

He cannot believe it. He and just about everyone else know that years before the engagement her husband-to-be is madly in love with her best friend (just like her).

"A marriage of convenience?" he says to himself, burying his face in his hands, unable to make sense of the situation. "And I thought that was a thing of the past."

* * *

It is a man to man talk- just him and her fiancée, at a local coffee shop opposite the newly opened hotel where he has danced (and shamelessly flirted) with her in a party a couple of nights ago. 4 pm sharp.

The snow is falling incessantly, and yet they have opted to sit in one of those little tables right outside the shop, a giant blue umbrella fending off the snow as the sun sets beautifully.

They both order for tea along with slices of chocolate cake - which remains untouched until the end of their conversation which does not end too well.

He wants answers, but all he got are questions, and a great feeling of regret and sadness.

* * *

"What about Sakura?"

"S-She was the one who wanted this."

"What do you mean?"

"She's fading."

"Fading?"

"Her power is taking her life away."

"Impossible, I would have known if that would be the case."

"That's because she didn't want you to know. She knows you'll blame yourself."

"Then why..."

"I wish I know too."

* * *

He drowns himself in wine, tea, and more wine. He remembers walking out of the bar singing and swaying with his car keys in his hands, but the rest is a blur to him.

The next time he opens his eyes he finds himself in a pallid hospital room, a vase of magnolias by his bedside table along with a small note.

He has only gotten to read the note when he is about to leave the hospital. He has been too dizzy, too preoccupied. Get well soon, please take care, you're in our prayers - _cards always have the same messages, and it isn't like it will make any difference_, he has told his guardians once. He sounds so pessimistic, and his creations have a hard time believing it, but so did he.

That day though is different. His body strangely felt light, his head clear, and with a small smile in his freshly shaven face he flips the note and read it.

"Forget what?" he says to himself, carelessly discarding the note back at the bedside table and taking his bags with his guardians.

_I'm sorry. Please forget about everything,_ the note reads.

**

* * *

**

**Side-notes:** There are a lot of gray areas in this fic. Hopefully, the details aren't too vague. This is a two (or three) part story. I'm still writing parts of next chapter along with my pending updates.

I wanted to try writing something different, and really enjoyed writing this. Typing it is a totally different story. I apologize in advance for typos.

Comments are appreciated.


	2. Continuity

**Disclaimer:** CCS belongs to CLAMP.

This is written as a gift fic in one of the CCS writing communities in livejournal.

* * *

She is the stuff happily-ever-afters are made of. With her long black hair and big dark eyes, one cannot go wrong about it, but as much as her will is strong, her body is weak.

She does not belong to this world. One can only be thankful enough that she has graced their presence. To be with her for a lifetime is too much to ask for.

He does not know how to quit though, and will not accept anything less than what he wishes for, so he follows her one lifetime after another, always losing her in the end. It is the bargain he has made with the Time Witch, along with his memories of her in each lifetime, and a pocket watch which has a small picture of them together.

He is willing to live a thousand lives just to see her smile.

* * *

In this lifetime he runs into her again in New York, in the middle of a party hosted by her mother. A friend at the university brought him for company. They fall in love quickly, but she is engaged, to her best friend's lover, much to his surprise.

It does not make sense, so he invited him for tea.

He does not get any answers, only vague pieces of the story which do not add up, and he gets drunk and gets into an accident.

He leaves the hospital bearing no memories of her, of their love, and of her marriage; and he leaves the city to tour the world.

He moves from one city to another with dissatisfaction, a hunger, an insatiable feeling at the pit of his stomach. One morning he finds himself by the gates of a house somewhere in Tokyo, and is ushered by a tall clumsy-looking man towards the living room, where a slender woman with long black hair is drinking wine.

"I came here to have a wish granted," he says.

"If you are willing to pay for the price," she replies, motioning for him to sit down next to her. He follows, and she feels a tinge of amusement and discomfort to how things have changed. Before her is a man who is just as powerful, if not more, as her, asking for a wish.

"I think there is something I do not know."

"We both know that we do not know everything, Clow."

"No, what I mean is, I think I have forgotten something, something important."

"Everything is important, but we need not know everything – that includes what you have forgotten. Sometimes it is best for us not to know."

"But I want to know."

"I do not undo wishes."

"I am fine with that. Please help me, Yuuko," he says looking at her straight in the eyes, "I want to know."

She cringes, disliking how desperate he looks.

"I do not undo wishes," she repeats, "You may leave now."

He leaves with hesitation, and returns every morning more determined than the day before.

* * *

"I told you, I do not undo wishes," she scowls at him in between sips of beer on his 10th visit.

"I get it now," he says, walking towards her, "I have been here before, haven't I?"

"For the last ten days, yes," she says, avoiding his eyes.

"Even before that. I have wished for you to take my memory, didn't I?" he says, reaching for her hand

"No," she answers him flatly, pulling her hand away. He looks down at the floor, crestfallen, and she finds herself sighing, and saying in a bare whisper, "You have wished for something else."

He looks at her, unblinking. "And the price to pay is my memory?"

She does not say anything, and looks away yet again.

"Give my memory back," he says with such firmness, she feels her insides churn, "in exchange, you can take whatever it is I have initially asked for."

"I cannot do that."

"You are not undoing a wish. You are just granting one."

"Either way, you will not want that," she says, her eyes moist, her breathing heavy.

"I want it now."

"Were you never told of the saying, 'Be careful what you wish for'?"

"I am being careful here."

"Very well then."

* * *

He walks to Tomoeda Hospital with cherry blossoms in hand. In a small pallid room he finds Sakura, the brightness of her green eyes fading, her hands held by Tomoyo, dressed in the same color as Sakura's eyes.

"Eriol," Sakura says with a small smile on her lips.

His eyes water and he can feel his hands shake. Across the room is Syaoran, arms around his chest. He looks old. Shifting his gaze from Syaoran to Sakura and Tomoyo, he feels tears threatening to fall out of the corner of his eyes.

"W-Why?" he croaks, unable to hold his tears.

"When I had your magic, I saw it all. It was all in my dreams. Every night I dreamt of it," she says, holding his hand, "I saw so much hurt out of so much love. I saw so much sadness after a short period of happiness. It was painful. You must be tired."

"That is why you decided to interfere."

"It is my duty to do so."

"You have planned this." He shakes his head, "No, you have seen all of this coming."

"Yes."

"But I am not tired, not for this. Not for her," he says, turning his eyes to Tomoyo. She stands by the edge of the bed, quietly crying. She walks towards him, and cups her cheeks.

"Is a lifetime with me not enough?" she says, tears still falling from her eyes.

"N-No. No," he says, shaking his vehemently shaking his head as he pulls her close as if afraid that she will disappear. "I always lose you, that is why I have wished to be in every lifetime you are in; that our paths will always cross, that I may breathe the air you breathe, that I may see you, that I may be with you, even if it means losing you in the end."

"Sakura made it her dying wish that I be engaged to Syaoran," Tomoyo says, "to put an end to this. She did it for you. For us."

He nods, wiping his tears.

"You need not live one tragic lifetime after another. The two of you can be happy. You have always been happy," Sakura says, smiling, "and I want the two of you to be happy."

* * *

Comments are appreciated.  
I will be wrapping this up soon.

**Side-note:** The title has grown out of me. I think I'll change it to something more appropriate next time. Haha. For now it stays.


End file.
